the history of da Cheeks is widely known but just to reiterate satans butcheek became officially real on septermber 17 2022 when jonah and avery and dillon were jamming epic style and then kainon started freestyling over it. recordings from this session are known as the Secret tapes, because kainon said (Redacted) and now avery cannot in good conscience make them publically available. then satans buttcheeks became officially real again after the release of semenanal album Levin (Mike) on march 4 2023.
Paranoia
so basically it was a jam sesh and then peyton came and then hoyer and cormack came and then we all played ping pong but songs from the day recorded with the technologically supreme iphone voice memos were edited and compiled by avery into the first (un)official satans buttcheeks release. this album had swamp ass on it and it was pretty good but it was also mostly black flag. avery showed it to his high school music teacher and they did not laugh at him. paranoia was also technically half a those who know album because dillon showed up late and then after everyone left he and avery jammed on some classic prewritten those who know tunes. you can tell which ones are the those who know songs because they sound worse. But this was a major step in both buttcheeks and those who know history that inarguably changed Music across humanity moving forward. This is when Hoyer became our manager.
Levin (Mike congressman)
then satans buttcheeks came up with the original idea to hate the government but specifically local politician mike levin. this is mostly because they were all incredibly baked and it rhymes with 9/11 but once the Ball is rolling you cannot stop it and thus Levin was born. most of the album was recorded post-joint in the Aviary but then jonah came back a couple days later and this is when he and avery wrote the epic ballads of michael levin and bob dylan. They also wrote more tracks set to be released on the upcoming Wake up, Jonathan album but they were not very good so this did not happen. This is when kainon became our manager.
Shortly after the release of Levin, the cheeks played the Super cool and awesome show with cool local band five point. this is where jonah met Rosie from five point and avery met (Redacted). at this point the cheeks were just avery jonah and dillon because kainon is shy and also a cunt who would just sit with dumb stupid bella during practice. Bella has a strong smell, which is why she has to live in santa cruz. this was the first satans buttcheeks live and things could only go uphill from here.
Downhill
Things went downhill from there. they were fine for a bit because we had quinn (Who was really young) and then everyone graduated and had fun during the summer but then Hoyer and Dillon ran over a black cat and this was the start of the Curse. from there dillon exploded his lung and was deported to georgia, and that was a lot so everyone left. With no one left but each other, jonah and avery were forced to reconcile (They didnt really have an issue with each other at least i think). this was scary because they were both worried that the other one would smell but it ended up being cool chill fun times and they became buttcheek brothers for life. then shad also put his cheeks into the satan and we had a new bassist. this is also when walker became our manager.
Saskatchewan
saskatchewan was a compilation of those who know tracks (because avery does all the work around here) and live recordings from the november 2023 return of christ (dillon). it features the track Cables which features the individuals kainon and ian and is directly a copy of a song from the upcoming jonah album. shad is not on the album because he is mormon. the album is called saskatchewan because we fear it will no longer exist in ten years.
Post saskatchewan
Nowadays satans buttcheeks is mostly chillin and hangin out. avery put out the secret album and rosie joined the band because she and jonah like to kiss but also because we played some shows without a bassist and we ripped ass but not the good satan kind.
